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Submitted on
December 30, 2009
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I long to feel the burning sky
ignite my dim and faded eyes.
I long for crimson cloud's caress
to light a spark upon my breath,
and wrap it's fire about my heels;
I long to feel.

'til ash becomes of embers bright
I long to lie within the light
and dance amidst it's dying heat,
this sky, this sun, my one retreat.
'til morning, I'll pretend it's real;
I long to feel.
'Short Rondel' - another extension of the Rondeau family.
I've been working on this for a long time, and it still needs work. I'm particularly unsure of the second to last line...and the entire last stanza now that I think about it. Critique welcome. :)

EDIT

changed the 4th line in the first stanza and the 3rd and 4th line in the second stanza. I'm a little happier with it, but I'm not sure if it's quite done yet.

EDIT 2.0
Hooray, my second Daily Lit Deviation! Thanks a million to =DailyLitDeviations and to the always wonderful =dreamsinstatic :)
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:icondeinktvis:
deinktvis Featured By Owner Apr 25, 2010  Student Writer
a new :+fav: thanks to making your feature:)
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:iconrawpoetry:
RawPoetry Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2010   Photographer
:love:
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:iconrlkirkland:
rlkirkland Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
:w00t: a DLD
Very nice, your hard work rewarded. :heart:
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:iconrawpoetry:
RawPoetry Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2010   Photographer
:love:
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:iconms-ginny-snape:
Ms-Ginny-Snape Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2010   Writer
This is wonderfully written. It flows so smooth. I love this. I'm glad it's a DD.
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:iconrawpoetry:
RawPoetry Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2010   Photographer
Thanks a million, and thanks bunches for the favorite as well! :love:
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:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2010
:clap: Congratulations on the DLD for this piece!
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:iconrawpoetry:
RawPoetry Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2010   Photographer
Thanks! :woohoo:
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:iconjade-pandora:
jade-pandora Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2010
:giggle:
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:iconhopeannfaith:
Hopeannfaith Featured By Owner Apr 4, 2010
Congrats! Beautiful...worthy of earning the DLD :woohoo: y' go girl. :woohoo:
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